I Can’t Be a Baha’i—I Don’t Know All the Details

The recent BahaiTeachings.org series I wrote—Making the Drugs and Alcohol Decision—reminded me of a friend who once told me: “I can’t be a Baha’i—I’m not perfect!”

He had studied the Baha’i Faith for a few years, had read several Baha’i books, and loved hanging out with the Baha’i community. My friend—we’ll call him Ralph, although that’s not his real name—had clearly fallen in love with Baha’u’llah, with the Baha’i teachings, and with the sense of unity and harmony he felt so strongly in Baha’i gatherings. He read Baha’i books every day, said Baha’i prayers, and even enthusiastically told his family and friends about his new spiritual discovery.

But something, I could tell, was holding Ralph back. He truly wanted to be a Baha’i, and told several people that he already believed in the Baha’i principles. Spiritually, his heart had obviously made his decision for him. But he didn’t, or couldn’t, bring himself to actually declare his belief in the Baha’i Faith.

Just so you know, becoming a Baha’i doesn’t involve any ritual, rite or ceremony. Baha’is have no baptism, no initiation, and certainly no sacrament of admission. You become a Baha’i internally, making a soulful, heartfelt decision on your own—and then you simply sign a declaration card that says you believe in Baha’u’llah and want to enroll in the Baha’i community. That declaration card just adds your name to the list of the Baha’is in your area, making you a part of the local Baha’i community, and the Baha’i community around the world. It’s all entirely voluntary, and since the Baha’i Faith has no clergy and forbids proselytizing, it’s entirely up to you.

Ralph understood all this. In fact, he had carried around his own Baha’i declaration card for many months. He showed it to me once, taking it out all creased, crumpled and worn from its place in his wallet. He had filled in his name and address so long ago that the ink had already faded a little. But he hadn’t actually signed it yet. I laughed when he showed it to me. “Ralph,” I said as I laughed, “you seem a little conflicted.”

That’s when he blurted out “I can’t be a Baha’i—I’m not perfect!” He said it without irony and with a considerable amount of emotion. I could tell he meant it, because I could see tears in his eyes.

I stopped laughing, and asked him “What makes you think you need to be perfect to be a Baha’i?”

He explained in a halting way. “The Baha’is I’ve met are so wonderful,” he said. “They seem so spiritually evolved, so loving. I wish I were like that. I want to be like that. But I still drink, have a joint once in a while, I still have some bad habits. My past—I mean, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I’m a long way from being a good Baha’i. I don’t want to sign my declaration card until then, until I’m a better person.”

Saying all this seemed to take a lot out of Ralph. Obviously, this unresolved dissonance had clearly built up inside of him for a long time. Like many people, Ralph encountered the beautiful Baha’i teachings and principles and believed in their truth, but didn’t feel worthy of them.

So I tried to explain. First, I asked Ralph if his heart had been touched by the spirit of Baha’u’llah’s message. He said “Yes!” without any hesitation.

“Then the seed of the Baha’i message has already started to grow in your soul,” I said. “Now you’ll want to water it with the outpourings of the Holy Spirit. This is the beginning of a long journey, and your soul holds the ticket. No one who decides to go on that journey of spiritual growth and development is ever perfect. In fact, if you were already perfect, why would you take it?”

“Hmmm,” Ralph said, carefully considering what I was telling him. He still seemed a little unconvinced, so I gave him these quotes from the Baha’i teachings:

No obstacle should be placed before any soul which might prevent it from finding the truth. Baha’u’llah revealed His directions, teachings and laws, so that souls might know God, and not that any utterance might become an obstacle in their way. – Abdu’l-Baha, Star of the West, Volume 6, p. 43.

He is a true Baha’i who strives by day and by night to progress along the path of human endeavor, whose cherished desire is so to live and act as to enrich and illumine the world; whose source of inspiration is the essence of Divine Perfection, whose aim in life is to conduct himself so as to be the cause of infinite progress. – Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i Revelation, p. 285.

Wherefore, look not on the degree of your capacity, ask not if you are worthy of the task: rest ye your hopes on the help and loving-kindness, the favours and bestowals of Baha’u’llah — may my soul be offered up for His friends! Urge on the steed of high endeavour over the field of sacrifice, and carry away from this wide arena the prize of divine grace. – Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 23.

These passages had a profound effect on my friend Ralph. Over the next few days he seemed increasingly free of the hesitation and worry that plagued him before, and he signed that creased and crumpled Baha’i declaration card a week later.