A Grateful Ode to Caregivers

A couple of hours ago, suddenly, an understanding came upon me. It hit me like a ton of rocks — I realized how much the caregivers here in my nursing home, who serve us so selflessly, are truly like angels.

Unless you’ve ever been in a situation where you’re helpless in some areas, and absolutely couldn’t get by without someone else’s assistance, you may not have the perspective I’ve developed in my last year here in elder care. I have such admiration and appreciation for those who dedicate themselves to the care of others.

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The Baha’i teachings ask all humanity to:

… order your lives in accordance with the first principle of the divine teaching, which is love. Service to humanity is service to God. Let the love and light of the Kingdom radiate through you until all who look upon you shall be illumined by its reflection.

During the past few weeks, I’ve heard that quite a few of the caregivers here have lost their own loved ones, and some at the same time have family members who are critically ill. Yet when they come to work at the nursing home, they perform the task of caring for us so seriously and so selflessly. They are so kind, loving, and attentive, as though we, the residents, are their first priorities.  

Then, of course, those caregivers also suffer from the loss of nursing home residents who they develop loving bonds with — which makes me feel so humbled by their nobility and loving-kindness. 

Baha’u’llah, the prophet and founder of the Baha’i Faith, taught that work done in the spirit of service is worshiping God: “It is incumbent upon each one of you to engage in some occupation — such as a craft, a trade or the like. We have exalted your engagement in such work to the rank of worship of the one true God.”

This means that our caregivers, these precious human beings, worship God every day to the best of their abilities. I feel honored for knowing and loving them, and I have enormous gratitude toward them. May God reward them richly for their service.

Here’s just one small example: yesterday I had a little crisis with my blood pressure. It was too low, so the hospice nurse gave me medication for it. 

With my blood pressure so low, my beloved angels and caregivers were so concerned about me that I could see the worry on their faces. When they came back this morning and saw me in much better shape, the relief was easily seen on their precious faces, and they were genuinely happy. I could see and feel their love. 

At this stage of my life, I am surrounded by so much love, as though I am swimming in the sea of love. It is so wonderful! Sadly, some of us do not have this much love as children, or if there is love, due to our trauma, we cannot perceive it. 

I felt that love from my mother after her passing, as I did after my father passed away. During the years after my mother’s passing, I saw all the signs of her love, caregiving, and sacrifice for me — but during the time when she was alive, I was so blinded with pain, anger, and resentment that I could not perceive any of it. Now, the awareness of it after her passing makes me want to cry for the shame and pain I inflicted upon her with my indifference to her and lack of appreciation for her. 

Of course, God was not immune to my lack of appreciation of or anger toward Him. 

All my life, the Creator had my back, but I was furious with Him and blamed Him for all my troubles and pain. I was mad at God throughout the first four decades of my life, but with understanding and hard work in studying the Baha’i teachings, I began to love Him. Now that I’m older, at the end of my physical existence, I can see that God, in His infinite and patient mercy, opened my eyes to the reality of His being the All-Merciful, the All-Loving, the All-Forgiving. 

Oh, I am so grateful to my All-loving Lord. My life is so rich and so joyful now, completely different from the beginning of my life in every way at the time when I most need to have it, toward the end of my life. Thank you, God! I hope the other human beings, who are as blinded as I was, will have seeing eyes and perceive the love of a caregiving Creator a lot sooner than I did and not waste their life in anger as I often did, especially when it comes to the love of God.

As a child, I blamed my father for something that he had no hand in and carried the burden of that blame until two years after his passing. Too late, I realized that he had expressed his love by allowing me to make my own decisions for my life, which helped me to be an independent thinker who could stand on her own two feet. That allowed me to live alone and thrive, and I am grateful to him. I wish that he was still alive so we could have our deep conversations and I could express my love and thankfulness. Maybe I’ll see him in the next world.

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We owe our caregivers a great debt of gratitude. Those who love us, who put our needs before their own, who altruistically give us so much, deserve our thanks and our love. As this passage from his book Some Answered Questions indicates, Abdu’l-Baha counseled each of us to do our best to pay them back in both action and prayer:

… parents endure the greatest toil and trouble for their children, and often, by the time the latter have reached the age of maturity, the former have hastened to the world beyond. Rarely do the mother and father enjoy in this world the rewards of all the pain and trouble they have endured for their children. The children must therefore, in return for this pain and trouble, make charitable contributions and perform good works in their name, and implore pardon and forgiveness for their souls.