What We Can Learn From Reflecting on the Past

As I took my walk around the nursing home today, I began thinking about my past. I came from a truly poor background. The country of my birth and perhaps all its neighboring countries were poor countries. 

When I was growing up, I had only two dresses, and at one time, I had a single hand-me-down dress. We did not know we were poor since we did not have anything to compare — but we were very poor.

There were great gaps between the haves and have-nots when I was a child, but I didn’t know about them. Now here I am, during the last leg of my life, with many new caftans, a comfortable place to live, and all the food I can eat — it’s a true rags-to-riches phenomenon!

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I’m amazed at how life can change for all of us if we’re blessed enough to grab even the slightest opportunities for bettering our lot — and if we follow the principles laid down by God’s messengers.

Reflecting on my past, I’ve realized that one of the primary principles of the Baha’i Faith — compulsory education for children and youth of both sexes — made a huge difference for me and for many, many others. 

This single principle, summarized here in Abdu’l-Baha’s Tablet to the Hague, changed my entire life:

… among the teachings of Baha’u’llah is the equality of women and men. The world of humanity has two wings — one is women and the other men. Not until both wings are equally developed can the bird fly. Should one wing remain weak, flight is impossible. Not until the world of women becomes equal to the world of men in the acquisition of virtues and perfections, can success and prosperity be attained as they ought to be.

Shoghi Effendi, the Guardian of the Baha’i Faith, wrote to the Baha’is of Iran before I was born, asking them:

… to consolidate the foundations of mutual assistance and co-operation, to promote the emancipation and advancement of women and support the compulsory education of both sexes, to encourage application of the principles of consultation among all classes, and to adhere in all dealings to a standard of scrupulous integrity.

Those who were the followers of the Baha’i Faith at the time, even though they were persecuted in their homeland, took that principle and diligently followed it for themselves and their children. In a place where girls traditionally got no education, they changed everything. As a result, all of my Baha’i relations, men and women, have been highly educated as well as professionally successful. All of them were able, because of their education, to make meaningful contributions to humanity. Because of my own efforts to get an education, I now have 11 caftans, rather than only two tattered dresses to wear, one on while the other was being washed.

I am so blessed for all the life opportunities that God provided for me, and God does provide numerous opportunities for everyone if we’ll just look for them.

I’ve begun to try to view my health challenges, for example, as opportunities. Yesterday, I had another bout with my blood pressure crisis. It was too low, and I had blurred vision, too. So, I slept more than three hours and am feeling better since my BP became low again. What’s the opportunity there? Well, at least I can’t complain of boredom! 

I think the change of my medication to bring my BP higher was responsible for my need to sleep. I feel tired, and I have lost my sense of taste, so I do not enjoy food, and I eat quite a bit less. I am losing weight gradually, but I am losing it. I am always cold and almost shivering, even in room temperatures of over 75.

But I am still happy, enjoying my inner peace. The caregivers here in the nursing home section seem to be waiting for me to harass them so they can harass me back, and we can have a few minutes of laughter. When I’m not harassing them due to lack of energy, they seem to be worried about me. 

I love this kind of mutual teasing and comradeship, and the nursing home now feels like home to me here among my large extended family. 

One of my wonderful night caregivers has a routine of reading scriptures with me each night, mostly the Baha’i writings. We both learn, and we get almost drunk with the beauty of those writings, particularly The Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah:

O Son of Spirit! With the joyful tidings of light I hail thee: rejoice! To the court of holiness I summon thee; abide therein that thou mayest live in peace forevermore.

O Son of Spirit! The spirit of holiness beareth unto thee the joyful tidings of reunion; wherefore dost thou grieve? The spirit of power confirmeth thee in His cause; why dost thou veil thyself? The light of His countenance doth lead thee; how canst thou go astray?

O Son of Man! Sorrow not save that thou art far from Us. Rejoice not save that thou art drawing near and returning unto Us.

Praised be God for this precious opportunity!

RELATED: Humanity’s Need for Collective Spiritual Education

This reminds me of a friend I’ve known since the mid-1980s. She is a year or so older than I am and is a very staunch and strong Baha’i. But now she is very ill and in so much pain that she wants to die. She is being sedated, but when the effect of the pain reliever wears off, she really wants her physical life to end. 

This seems so unlike her because she has much respect for life and would never have thought that way before. She is very knowledgeable about the Baha’i laws, and she knows that committing suicide doesn’t accord with the Baha’i teachings. I pray to God that He will not make me face such a terrifying and painful test because I know I could fail. I’m glad that God has not tested me beyond my endurance in anything yet, and I hope that out of the ocean of His mercifulness, He will spare me.

At present, luckily, I am still able to walk on my own feet, and I am less of a burden to people here or to my friends, I think. Maybe the merciful Creator will take me home before I become too much of a burden and responsibility to others. I am at peace, and I love and trust God.