Smile or Frown — and Then Pass It On

The friendly woman at a checkout counter this morning recognized me from the photo on my newspaper column, and then told me that she routinely posts the columns in her workplace’s employee lounge. 

I felt flattered and appreciative, to say the least. 

When I mentioned that I was trying to come up with an idea for my next column, she suggested, with a teasing nod toward one of her colleagues, “How about working with difficult people?” The other person’s good-natured retort was “Yes, but which of us is the difficult person?”

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The three of us shared a laugh at this — and now that I’m back in my home office, I’m thinking about what makes a person difficult to work with. 

I once worked with someone who got increasingly negative as others around her got positive, apparently thinking this proved that she had it worse than the rest of us, and then wearing that attitude as a badge of honor. This created a tense, even toxic atmosphere at work.

Another common experience is having a negative reaction to an ungrateful person, a demeaning joke, or a hurtful act. The reverse is also true, for example a positive reaction to an unexpected smile, a good deed, or an upbeat story. Some people tend to bring us down, while others make us feel good — why?

Abdu’l-Baha said: “… just as diseases are highly communicable in the world of bodies, so is character highly communicable in the realm of hearts and spirits.”

When I think about the people in my life, both past and present, I realize that those who made me feel good didn’t do so because their lives were perfect, but because they had a healthy attitude, a good character, and an outward rather than an inward focus. Even when they had difficulties they did not dwell on the negative, and they never tried to drag others down with them.

Close friends see each other in the best and the worst of times, and not every day will be a happy one. When we have such friends we are fortunate, and we can share cheerful times as well as grumpy moments. That’s part of being honest with each other. But in the workplace or other public spaces, especially anywhere relationships are based on proximity, we serve best by finding ways to uplift each other.

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In these cases, if I can focus on the fullness of my life and be confident about the positive effect one person can have on another, then I can fulfill this advice from Baha’u’llah: “Be worthy of the trust of thy neighbor, and look upon him with a bright and friendly face.”

Since both wellness and disease can be contagious, I hope I can be the source of wellness. A sincere smile is one way to do this, on the job and throughout the day.