Why Do We Fear Death When It Doesn’t Exist?

Here in the nursing home, I have a neighbor and a friend, both of whom are in the process of dying. Of course, we’re all in some stage of that process, no matter our age or health.

My neighbor seems to be on the fast track to the next world, and I was just told that she is afraid. 

Do you fear death? You might not think so now, when your journey to the great mystery seems so far away, so remote — but when you get closer, when the time comes for you like it eventually does for all of us, you may change your mind. I’ve found that many people have a great deal of fear about dying.

RELATED: How the Human Soul Survives Death

When I heard that my neighbor was near death, I wanted to go and talk to her, but she finally fell asleep in her comfortable chair, and it is now 1:17 am, so I am planning to go and talk to her tomorrow. 

I’ll try to comfort her. I realize, though, that it is so different for myself as a Baha’i, who sees the end of our physical life this way, as Baha’u’llah wrote in The Hidden Words: 

I have made death a messenger of joy to thee. Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light to shed on thee its splendor. Why dost thou veil thyself therefrom?

She, perhaps, is fearful of going to hell. I will try to persuade her, using the wisdom of the Baha’i teachings, that hell doesn’t exist — that, as Baha’u’llah promised, we’re all headed for a heavenly afterlife:

The first life, which pertaineth to the elemental body, will come to an end, as hath been revealed by God: “Every soul shall taste of death.” But the second life, which ariseth from the knowledge of God, knoweth no death …

My other friend, who is 101 years of age, is healthy enough to stay alive for maybe a few more weeks.

My cancer has put me on the same trajectory. Physically, I am getting weaker gradually and am a little more unstable when walking, but everything happens so very slowly. My blood pressure seems to be getting worse, which places me in danger of a heart attack, which is what I would love to have because it holds the hope of a quick exit. But my blood pressure also puts me at risk of a cerebral stroke, which I fear because of the protracted mental disability it can bring — but I keep trusting God that He will take care of me as He has done all my life. 

After all, these conditions are only temporary. Everything physical passes, and everything spiritual is immortal.

Really, though, that’s why I’ve taken on this task of writing down the chapters in my end-of-life story, to bring to the attention of whoever is reading this, either during my life or after I am gone home, that death is nothing to fear. 

Now, it’s the next morning, and I just visited my neighbor who is in the process of dying. She was confused and tried to get out of bed when I came to see her. Her bed is very high, and she is not tall, so she could easily fall. When she relaxed and we talked, though, she confirmed that she is afraid of dying, and thus afraid of being alone.

I am in the very good position of maybe successfully reaching her and helping to assuage her fears, since I, too, am in the process of my long-awaited dying. I assured her that our Creator, our loving and merciful Father, will forgive her as he does all of us when we turn our faces to him and ask for forgiveness. 

Because my neighbor was raised as a Christian, I cited a quotation from the Holy Bible, when St. Peter asked Jesus Christ how many times we can sin and still be forgiven. Christ told Peter that we can sin 7×70 times per day — and when we repent, God will forgive us. This seemed to offer her some comfort. 

I also said a Baha’i prayer that our journey be peaceful, without fear and pain, and she made agreeing sounds. I am so grateful that I took three years of Bible study because that knowledge and understanding have helped me greatly throughout the years with my clients and other friends. It seemed that my talk with her offered some degree of comfort to her, so I plan to keep visiting her as often as my own energy level and her condition permits. 

I am so glad that God has given me the opportunity to serve people this way, even in very small degrees. Thank you God for that blessing!

RELATED: Is Death the “Elephant in the Room?”

I am noticing that losing friends and neighbors is becoming a common event for me, as it is for anyone who lives or works in a senior care facility like this one. I feel sad for a short time but glad for their release from this world. I keep wishing that I was going with them in their journey and again, I tell myself to be patient. To tell you the truth, having that patience is not easy.

In my own personal life, I keep seeing so many miracles on a daily basis that I am no longer surprised. I know that they are not really miracles because miracles are supposed to be big. But once in a while, I perceive them as miraculous, and I say to myself, “So what? He is God, and that is His job, and nothing is impossible for God to grant us if it is according to His will.”

So, I just take those daily miracles for granted these days. I guess one might say that I go about my business and expect them. I’ve realized that God does open doors that didn’t seem to be there. My job is just to enjoy them, be thrilled by them, realize for the millionth time that we have an awesome Creator, and walk through the doors He opens.