Bursting Out of My Mortal Cage

Living in a nursing home and seeing people coming and going after a while, either due to physical healing or heading to their permanent home in the next world, is quite interesting. You’d be amazed!

I’ve learned so much here among the elderly as they prepare for their deaths and for their “second birth,” as the Baha’i teachings call it:

The station of man is great, very great. God has created man after His own image and likeness. He has endowed him with a mighty power which is capable of discovering the mysteries of phenomena. Through its use man is able to arrive at ideal conclusions instead of being restricted to the mere plane of sense impressions. As he possesses sense endowment in common with the animals, it is evident that he is distinguished above them by his conscious power of penetrating abstract realities. He acquires divine wisdom; he searches out the mysteries of creation; he witnesses the radiance of omnipotence; he attains the second birth — that is to say, he is born out of the material world just as he is born of the mother; he attains to everlasting life; he draws nearer to God; his heart is replete with the love of God. This is the foundation of the world of humanity; this is the image and likeness of God; this is the reality of man …

As death draws near, most people seem to understand that reality and be content with their fate, but some who are on their way to the next world are so afraid they become terribly restless. 

RELATED: How to Deal With the Fear of Death

One of my neighbors, who I’ve mentioned previously, a woman whose health is deteriorating and progressively worsening, is very afraid of death and afraid of being alone and keeps getting in and out of bed with her oxygen tube on, which puts her in danger of falling off the bed and injuring herself. 

For companionship and solace, she rings the call bell quite often and keeps her TV volume extremely loud. Once in a while, when during the evening I have some energy, I visit her for a few minutes and try to assuage her anxiety by praying and talking with her about the goodness, kindness, and mercifulness of our Creator — which I hope will reduce her fears. At those times, she seems to become calmer, but it does not last long. I hope I do not lose my trust in the mercifulness of God if I’m ever in the state she is in.

Emotionally, I have gradually become happier and have an even deeper belief that God will always have my back; even during those times, I experience a little fear of what is going to happen to me before I die. When that occurs, almost immediately, I stop myself, and my trust in God returns fully. I am very glad for this gift of certainty, and I know that nothing can replace that gift. Thank you, dear Lord.  

But I am so blessed. There is a positive feeling in me that I cannot describe. I was praying to God and saying to Him that I grew up alone and lonely, and I am ending up (eventually, it seems, LOL) surrounded by people who show warmth, love, and kindness toward me. I have so much love for them in my heart. It is really a good place to be, emotionally as well as spiritually.

Yesterday, this thought came to me: people who are in prison for a long time adopt a mouse or an insect as their friend, and really become protective of that small creature. It sounds funny or even ridiculous, but when we have no freedom or any other options, we tend to create or find something to amuse us in order to fight the boredom, and that small being becomes a source of entertainment — or can even give someone a chance to care for something. 

I find, no matter how much I have to occupy my time and my mind, that I feel great empathy for those prisoners with long sentences. As anyone stays in any confined environment, one naturally becomes bored and seeks something new. In that exact way, people here in the nursing home are all confined to this physical sphere, this mortal life — which has become a prison of sorts for them — and are waiting to go home because sometimes a sense of profound loneliness sets in and there is no solution for it. 

The truth is, when you’re in a nursing home, most people forget you. Friends and relatives gradually get accustomed to a new life or a newer way of life without you around. Other priorities come into their lives, as they should, so the frequency of visits, phone calls, and even emails diminishes. In most cases, loneliness sets In due to the fault of no one. 

RELATED: Prayers for a Friend, Prayers for the World

So both groups of people — prisoners and nursing facility residents — learn to reduce their expectations and wait for the end of their earthly imprisonment, to either go home or finally go HOME. We become anxious for the day of freedom. Of course, all of that usually worsens when the mind begins to go, with dementia or Alzheimer’s. I am so glad and grateful that my mind is still (somewhat) clear, and I am able to keep myself productively occupied by using the computer, by writing these articles, and, of course, by reading my Baha’i books. I love to participate in Baha’i gatherings on Zoom, too. But even with all of that goodness, I can’t wait to flee this prison of my physical existence, just like, as Baha’u’llah’s writings reveal, every caged bird longs to fly free:

Hear Me, ye mortal birds! In the Rose Garden of changeless splendor a Flower hath begun to bloom, compared to which every other flower is but a thorn, and before the brightness of Whose glory the very essence of beauty must pale and wither. Arise, therefore, and, with the whole enthusiasm of your hearts, with all the eagerness of your souls, the full fervor of your will, and the concentrated efforts of your entire being, strive to attain the paradise of His presence, and endeavor to inhale the fragrance of the incorruptible Flower, to breathe the sweet savors of holiness, and to obtain a portion of this perfume of celestial glory. Whoso followeth this counsel will break his chains asunder, will taste the abandonment of enraptured love, will attain unto his heart’s desire, and will surrender his soul into the hands of his Beloved. Bursting through his cage, he will, even as the bird of the spirit, wing his flight to his holy and everlasting nest.